


Long Time Coming

by WordMusician



Series: It Needs Saying [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Doomsday fix it or sorts, F/M, Foreknowledge is a tricky thing, Power of Words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-29 18:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10859901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordMusician/pseuds/WordMusician
Summary: When I saw this picture on Pinterest, I started thinking about a turn of phrase and what it might mean to our heroes. From that sprang this story that takes us from Age of Steel through to and just past Doomsday.  Part 1 of the It Needs Saying series.





	1. Fancy Meeting You Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two time lords and two companions... what could possibly happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found this picture on Pinterest and it is the inspiration for this story. The comments under the picture are not mine, but I couldn't find a way to delete them or find the picture without them.

 

The conference center was filled. It was the first of many such events designed to increase the business world’s confidence after the Event. Someone in a grand gesture of poor taste had decided to display the empty shell of the fallen cyberman as a trophy. No one seemed to know where the creature had come from nor why it had suddenly stopped functioning, or what exactly it had had to do with the internet’s failure. The resiliency of the human race - no matter what the planet or the century - allowed them to collectively pick up the pieces and resume life pretty much as usual once the danger had passed. Four time travelers stood frozen in the sea of laughter and networking frenzy: two Time Lords and two companions.

“You,” growled the younger Time Lord, mentally squirming under the barrage of converging and convulsing time lines. “You should not be here.” He glared at his older self, resenting the intrusion and trying hard not to sneer at his apparent future fashion choices. _I look like an underpaid, undergrad professor. My pants are too short, my hair is too long and, correct me if I’m wrong – and I’m never wrong – bow ties are reserved for tuxedos, and tuxedos usually spell doom._ Obviously he chose to ignore the fact that he was still wearing his own Tuxedo of Doom.

“Doctor?” questioned Rose and Amy simultaneously, although directing their question to two different men.

“What?” Amy glanced confusedly at the blonde and then back between the two men. The Doctor’s face was excessively pale and his green eyes wet with unshed tears. The other man was scowling; his angular features tight and even his impossibly high chestnut hair seemed to quiver indignantly. This was tense. A sudden burst of brittle laughter off over her shoulder made her jump nervously.

“Oh,” Rose breathed softly as understanding dawned. She looked carefully at the slack jawed man before her. Deep in his green eyes she could see the timelessness that was always the Doctor. She also saw tightly controlled joy and something else… sorrow? Regret? Suddenly she felt a cold shiver and reached for the hand of her Doctor, threaded her fingers with his. “He’s you, isn’t he? Why’s he staring?”

He squeezed her hand, “Yes, he’s me – a future me – and I don’t know why I’m staring at you, except that I appear to still be rude and obviously not ginger.” Resisting the urge to snap his fingers in the staring man’s face, he instead stretched out his time senses trying to ascertain the reason behind the encounter. Thousands of years of time travel meant one eventually did bump into oneself, and it was always a delicate situation requiring careful adherence to protocols. A future self in the company of a young lady who obviously was not Rose Tyler was doing bad things to his emotional equilibrium. Images of dragging Rose back to the TARDIS and spending the next millennia in the safety of the vortex suddenly held great appeal. What was happening?

The shock of seeing Rose again had all but stopped his twin hearts. Momentarily dazzled, the eleventh Doctor wasted precious seconds just soaking up her presence. He had forgotten oh so much, but this body was just as receptive to her as it had ever been in his previous regenerations and now was eagerly cataloging and savoring every bit of minutia that it could. Each sweep of her blackened lashes on flushed cheeks… each exhale through rosy lips…. His hands itched to touch the vision before him.

Still confused, Amy put a gentle hand on his tweed sleeve. “Doctor, what’s going on? What does he mean – you’re a future him?”

With an audible click of teeth, the Doctor closed his mouth and animation surged through his body once more. “Right, hello. Blimey, bit of a shock this? Rather like looking into a mirror only the glass is all distorted. Not a carnival mirror mind you, those make you look all weird and funny and I don’t look weird or funny. Although, I did forget my hair could defy gravity…. Amy, this is me and this is Rose Tyler. I’ve told you about regeneration haven’t I? Yes? No? Hmm well, long story; remind me later to explain. Rose, this is Amelia Pond.” Gesturing wildly he made hasty introductions then fixed his younger self with an intense stare and said darkly, “We need to talk.”

“Really?” arched a supercilious brow.

“Really,” he sighed and rolled his eyes at his tuxedo-ed self. “Right now would be very, very good. Yes. Excuse us, ladies?”

As he reached to take the other man’s arm, Rose gasped and pushed him away. “No! You can’t touch him! What about reapers?”

“Oi! What are you doing?” challenged Amy, grabbing Rose’s arm in a quick defense of the Doctor.

The tenth Doctor eased himself between the two women. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “Regeneration means a totally new body, remember? It’s not like when you went back to see your dad and touched yourself as a baby. No reapers are coming, I assure you. But we do have to be very, very careful about paradoxes. Crossing one’s own time line is extremely dangerous.” He shot an accusing look at the other Doctor.

“But necessary,” the other Doctor pressed. “Come on, We can talk outside. Uh, Amy, have some punch but don’t eat any of the little tart thingys: apple jelly.”

“Apples are fine,” dismissed the Doctor.

“Apples are rubbish,” declared the other Doctor.

As the two men walked away they both said over their shoulders, “And stay away from the pairs!”

Rose couldn’t help but quietly laugh at that – apparently some things never changed, new man or not. Yet she was more than a little intrigued by the sudden appearance of another Doctor, one from the future. Apparently he had to have a talk with himself about something important. Another shiver of foreboding ran down her spine. How far in the future had this new doctor come from? What had happened to the Doctor she knew? And what had happened to her?

Mentally she shrugged it off as a puzzle she didn’t have all the pieces for. The Doctor(s) would know what to do. Whatever it was, there was bound to be excitement and running in a bit so it would be wise to grab some refreshments while they could. She also hoped there’d be time to change out of this maid’s outfit and back into jeans and trainers, but she wasn’t counting on it.

As the Doctors disappeared out a side door, she turned to look at Amy only to find Amy looking at her. Silently they studied each other until Rose sighed and stuck out her hand. “Rose Tyler. I travel with the Doctor.”

Amy shook the offered hand, “Amy Pond. I travel with the Doctor.” Then she snorted and grinned, “This is too weird!”

Rose laughed. “Let’s go get some of that punch and compare notes, yeah?”


	2. The Doctor’s Directive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctors and the Companions begin their conversations and we learn a little bit.

Okay, so what is this all about?” asked the tenth Doctor as he leaned a shoulder against the wall and crossed his ankles in an attempt at nonchalance.

  
The eleventh Doctor paced the small space the back alley afforded. He was muttering and gesticulating as though having an argument with himself, before quickly pivoting and pointing a finger at the other man. “You must tell her.” He stabbed at the air for emphasis.

“Her? Who, Rose? Tell her what?”

“You know what.”

  
“Don’t play games with me.”

  
“I’m not playing games. You are. Look, I can’t tell you everything because we know foreknowledge will change the time lines, but this is important. You must, must do this.”

  
“If I didn’t do it before, why should I now? As you said: changing time lines...”

  
“Oh, we change time lines all the time! Pish posh! That’s what we do – Time Lord! Only this time, you must change your time line – your future, my past.”

  
“What! No.”

Suddenly the men were inches apart, green eyes staring with desperation into guarded dark brown. “Listen, listen, listen,” his voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. “In all of our lives, this is the one thing – the One Thing – that we regret the most.” He held up a hand to forestall the protest forming on the other man’s lips. “Yes, more than even the Time War. When the moment comes, you must tell her.”

  
_More than the Time War. Was there anything in the multi-verse more regrettable than that?_ The tenth Doctor considered the weight of the guilt, the nightmares, the pain, the catastrophic loss his decision had cost. And now he was being told this was greater. His mouth went suddenly dry as he assembled the evidence before him. Rose. Something happens to Rose.

  
“When?” he asked soberly.

  
The other Doctor looked away, passing a weary hand over his face. “You’ve just returned from Pete’s World and defeating Cybrus Industries. Mickey decided to stay behind, and so to cheer Rose up and get a bit more mileage out of the tux and maid costume you decided to crash this conference and show her how the cybermen are defeated everywhere. You plan to grab some nibbles, have a laugh at the locals and admire her pretty legs.”

  
“Yeah…” was the cautious reply even as he blushed over the reference to Rose’s legs.

  
“Soon.”

  
“A fixed point?”

  
“Oh yes.”

  
The time lords were silent as they dealt with their inner demons.

 

  
Rose and Amy made their way over to one of the buffet tables to get refreshments. As they began to load their plates, a portly man in a business suit tapped Rose on the shoulder. “Do you think they have any more of the shrimp canapés in the back? Could you fetch another tray?”

  
Before Rose could react, Amy drew herself up to her full height and glared down her nose at him. “This woman is on her break. Take your request to another server.” Rose carefully kept her back to the man so he couldn’t see her smirk.

“Excuse me?”

  
“Convention Catering union steward. I’m here to make sure that the workers get their full 15 minute break. Clause 17.49 of the catering agreement. You got a problem with that?”

  
The man frowned and shook his head. He was all too familiar with unions – the bane of his existence – and while he thought it strange that a serving girl could sample food off the customer’s banquet table, he didn’t want to make a scene. “No, no problem. Sorry.” He quickly stepped away.

  
As soon as he was out of earshot, the girls shared a giggle. “That was quick thinking,” Rose chuckled. “I do believe you’ve taken lessons from the Doctor. Clause 17.49?”

  
“Who says he didn’t take lessons from me?” Amy replied with a saucy wink leading them over to a less crowded corner and a pair of vacant chairs. As soon as they sat down with their plates on their laps, Amy began, “So, Rose Tyler, where are you from? I hear a London accent, am I right?”

  
“London yeah, grew up on the estates. I met the Doctor in a department store basement, just before he blew it up, and my job with it.” She munched on a cracker. “How about you?”

  
“He crash landed in my back garden when I was seven.” Rose was shocked at how young Amy had been, and that the TARDIS had crashed. What did that all mean? But before she could ask, Amy continued, “He said I could come with him but he had to fix something first, so he left and I waited. He came back sure enough 12 years later; 12 years and 4 psychiatrists.” Amy rolled her eyes and popped cherry tomato into her mouth.

  
Rose grimaced in sympathy. “Still not the best driver, I see. First time I went with him, he said we’d been gone 12 hours, but it turned out to be 12 months! My poor mum! And my best mate, Mickey, well everyone thought he’d murdered me.”

  
“Oh no, that’s terrible! The first time I traveled with him was the night before my wedding.” Amy blushed at Rose’s surprised expression. “Well, wouldn’t you have gone? And even though we had a lot of adventures, he still got me back before the ceremony.”

  
“Actually, the first time the Doctor invited me I said no. I didn’t think I could leave my mum and Mickey. They needed me. But then he came right back and said we could travel in time as well as space, so that sealed it.”

  
“He came back and asked you a second time?” Rose nodded chewing. Amy remembered how the Doctor had been looking at Rose when they had first all met. She had never seen that expression on his face before. Obviously Rose was someone special, and yet the Doctor never talked about her. She was like some deep dark secret. “Who are you, Rose Tyler?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written for Amy and 11 before. I hope I get their "voices" correct.


	3. The Doctor’s Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor's reason for crossing his own timeline is revealed. Rose and Amy have more questions than answers.

  
Tell me what you can,” the tenth doctor sighed rubbing the back of his neck. The mere presence of his future self meant the situation was dire. That the situation involved Rose made his stomach clench in icy dread. Before he lost himself to brooding in unnamed fears and recrimination, he needed to know whatever he had come back to tell himself.

  
“Rose is going to tell you she loves you.” The eleventh Doctor pushed his floppy hair off his face. “Yes, yes I know, but believe me it’s true. She will and when she does, you must tell her too.”

  
“I can’t!” Both Doctors winced at the thread of panic in his voice.

  
“You must! When she says, ‘I love you’, don’t hesitate, don’t give a grand speech, just say you love her. You won’t have as much time as you think, so don’t muck about.”

  
“Won’t have as much time? What do you mean? We’re Time Lords.”

  
“Spoilers,” The eleventh Doctor grimaced at his word choice. “We are going to learn to hate that word,” he muttered. “Nevertheless, it’s appropriate. Just remember: tell her.” He placed a trembling hand on the other Doctor’s shoulder. “Please.”

  
The Doctor recoiled. He wasn’t sure what frightened him more: the prospect of uttering the words that terrified him most or the fact that he had just been most desperately pleaded with by his own self.

  
“Rose loves me?” he whispered. The words on his tongue thrilled and terrified him equally. He had wondered for a long time if indeed his feelings were reciprocated, in those brief moments when he dared allow himself to think along those lines at all. But that tantalizing idea had always sent him skittering away on some random rabbit trail and always caused him to babble on about some other distracting topic until such dangerous possibilities were once more safely tucked into the furthest regions of his oh so impressive time lord mind. _I am such a coward. _He wondered how he managed to stand himself.__

____

  
The eleventh Doctor snorted. He’d had a long time to come to grips with Rose’s feelings for him and his for her. He curbed his impatience with his younger self and pressed home the point. “Yes, she does and if you’d stop panicking for a moment, you’d accept that you’ve known this truth for a long time. One does not rip open the TARDIS and absorb the Time Vortex for just anybody – even if you’re as compassionate a soul as Rose Tyler! And remember what she said, ‘I looked into the TARDIS and the TARDIS looked into me.’ The TARDIS saw what was in Rose’s heart; that was the only reason she over rode your emergency program one commands. What was in her heart allowed the TARDIS to take control and they became Bad Wolf to save us.”

  
“I absorbed the Time Vortex too; no human was meant to do what she did, it was killing her,” the tenth Doctor protested. He’d given his life for her that day on Satellite 5.

  
“Exactly! She was willing to die for you and you were willing to die for her. What does that tell you? Up until now you have not allowed yourself to truly think about loving Rose. You’ve not allowed yourself to think that she might love us back. Well, I say think about it! You don’t have a lot of time, but use it to come to terms with this so when the moment comes you will be able to tell her. You’ve got some grand adventures ahead of you, but don’t get too distracted. Think about what she means to us. Remember what I’ve told you. Promise me.”

  
Suddenly the eleventh Doctor looked smug for he knew the very instant his younger self finally agreed with this directive. Subtle shifts in the time line pressed in upon him and he was suddenly confident that this crazy plan would actually work. He’d nearly said it the first time around, all he had to do was rearrange the words... a turn of phrase... She deserved to know. If he couldn’t give her anything else, he could give her that. And he could find a bit of relief at least knowing that she knew. Just how far reaching this time ripple would become of course was completely beyond his awareness. A block away in two different directions, the TARDIS gave a soft shudder.

  
“So Rose will declare she loves me,” repeated the tenth doctor. “She’ll say it first.”

  
“Yes. Just… be ready.”

  
“Okay, alright. I will.” The two men stared at each other a moment more, and then of one accord, turned and reentered the building.

 

 

Amy and Rose chatted about their respective Doctors and compared notes about some of the monsters they’d seen. Both carefully spoke around the important questions that could not be answered, namely where was Rose in Amy’s time line, and why was she not still traveling with the Doctor. Rose hid her sadness. Apparently she wasn’t even mentioned by this new Doctor as Amy didn’t seem to know anything about her. _Just like Sarah Jane_   _then,_ she thought, _even though he said he wouldn’t do that to me._

The two Doctors appeared with genuine smiles but carefully guarded eyes. The eleventh Doctor couldn’t help sneaking glances at Rose, but he seemed uncomfortable, or unwilling to look at her directly. His nervous shyness was obvious and so out of character that Amy frowned and silently vowed that there would be a “conversation” with him as soon as they got back to the TARDIS. _Who was Rose Tyler and why haven’t I heard about her before now?!?_

  
“Time to go,” said the tenth Doctor.

  
“All sorted?” Rose asked timidly discarding their empty snack plates on a nearby serving tray. Something was definitely different about both men and it made her more nervous than the creepy cyberman face that stared at her over his shoulder. She didn’t have any time lordy senses but she was perceptive enough to know a change when she saw one. They had been deliberately sought out by his future. Something big was happening and the Doctor(s) seemed pretty tense about it.

  
“Yes, you could say so,” he was his cryptic reply. “Amy, it’s nice to meet you. I look forward to getting to know you.” He smiled at her as he tugged on his ear – a tell tale sign he was nervous about something.

  
“Yeah, same here, I guess,” Amy replied with a shrug. “I don’t pretend to understand any of this, but that’s okay… for now.” The last was directed toward her Doctor with a significant nod.

  
“I’m glad I met you, Amy,” Rose pulled the tall red head in for a hug. She liked Amy – she was smart and funny and seemed to be a strong personality. The Doctor was in good hands. “And you, Doctor…” she threw herself at the eleventh Doctor and hugged him fiercely.

  
Automatically his arms wrapped around her and he buried his face in her silky blond hair. Gods he had missed this! Even though his body had changed, she still seemed to fit perfectly in his arms. For a brief moment he entertained the thought of stealing her away, of conveniently skipping the part of her time line which had shattered his hearts, but before that paradoxical madness could take full control, he lifted his head and set her away from him far enough to look in her precious face. “Thank you,” he ground out, choking on a sob.

  
The tenth Doctor’s hands spanned Rose’s waist and tugged her back against his chest. He watched the other Doctor carefully – fully aware of how tempted he must be to keep holding Rose. Amy’s mouth gaped at the picture of the two Doctors literally playing tug-o-war with the blonde. _Again, Who is Rose Tyler?!?_

  
His arms now empty the eleventh Doctor wrung his hands and nodded. “Quite right: time to depart.” He pointed his finger at the other Doctor, “Remember what we said.”

  
“I will.”

“Good bye, Rose,” he voice was thick with tightly held emotions.

  
“Good bye,” Rose felt as if she wanted to cry.

  
Amy and the eleventh Doctor melted into the crowd presumably headed in the direction of their TARDIS.

  
The Doctor and Rose watched the two time travelers until they were out of sight. With a start the Doctor realized he still had his hands on Rose’s waist. He also noticed that she was ever so slightly leaning back against his chest. Armed with the knowledge his future self had shared, the Doctor allowed himself a small smile before releasing her and stepping back, “Time for us to go too.”

  
Rose was hesitant to ask the Doctor anything about his mysterious conversation. She fished a bit, but the Doctor was deliberately obtuse. His avoidance, coupled with the fact that she had been a complete stranger to Amy, made Rose worry about what was going to happen, but in the end she chose to trust the Doctor. If there was something that she needed to know, she trusted him to tell her before it was too late.


	4. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An overview of Season 2 leading up to Doomsday from the Doctor's POV and in light of the revelation his future self has given him. He struggles with the burden of foreknowledge. How will knowing what he knows changes what will happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters will be a re-hash of Season 2. This one from the Doctor's point of view, the next one from Rose's. We will cover a lot of ground pretty quickly but I am zeroing in on how each adventure impacts their personal feelings and relationship.

Ever aware that time can be rewritten, the Doctor now suffered under the two edged sword of foreknowledge. Was he unconsciously behaving in a manner that would change time around them, and she would never declare her love? Or, was he following the time line as it should unfold and if so was he ready for what he had promised?

  
The Doctor knew Rose was still upset with how things had transpired on Pete’s World. If he dared be honest, she’d been a bit stressed since the whole Clockwork Droid/Reinette adventure, though he wasn’t sure why. He’d only been gone 5 ½ hours after all. On the other hand, he knew she really missed Mickey, and he struggled with a twinge of jealousy towards the faithful friend who caused those feelings. There was an awkwardness between them that while he didn’t like it he didn’t know how to fix it either so he applied his tried and true method of moving on. He could do that – as long as she was moving on with him.

  
His plans to unwind as a pair of anonymous people at the convention center had gone completely sideways when his future self and Amy appeared. So still wanting to give Rose a bit of fun by way of a peace offering, he proposed attending an Elvis concert – an early one when the King was in his prime. But the TARDIS had put a wrinkle in that by dropping them off in London instead of Los Angeles just in time for Queen Elizabeth II’s coronation. King...Queen... same difference? But when the Wire took Rose’s face, his fury was barely contained. Angry with the Wire and with the callus treatment of his dear companion, he was even angrier with himself. He had left her to her own devises yet again; was he supposed to do that? Had he changed history by being stupid? Without a face, how could she ever say **The Words** to him? In that moment he felt the first stab of bitter regret and understood in part what the other Doctor had meant. He resolved in his hearts that if given the chance, he would be indeed ready to uphold his promise.

  
On the Impossible Planet the Doctor struggled with the tug toward more intimacy. Stranded together in close quarters, idle chats about making a home together, lingering hugs, these were all instances that attacked the Doctor’s promise. What if he was the first to say how he knew they both felt? What could be wrong with that? In the end, as he dangled over nothingness he couldn’t do it. He knew he had to trust himself and follow his own instructions. He had to believe their time would come. Ultimately he simply believed in her.

  
Perhaps it was after so many centuries and regenerations, but the Doctor discovered that his time sensibility – namely its ripple effect – had atrophied. Knowing (and now never seeming to be able to forget) that he would someday be altering his own time line made him once more sensitive to the impact changing history had upon others. Perhaps that was why Elton’s plea touched him so. Or perhaps it was because he grew increasingly unable to deny Rose Tyler anything. Still, he wondered what life would be like for Elton and his concrete slab girlfriend. And what would become of Ursula when Elton aged and died as all humans are wont to do? Would it all be worth it? The Doctor imagined Rose’s face instead of Ursula’s and he remembered her face calling out to him through the television screen. No, he could not fault Elton for wanting what he did. Indeed he envied him his bravery.

  
The whole 2012 Olympics had seemed pretty straight forward, until it wasn’t. He should have known things were off kilter when the TARDIS landed wrong and trapped them between the two skiffs. She could be so contrary when she wanted, it was embarrassing. What was that all about her hiding all his shirts and ties anyway? He’d felt practically naked, but then he’s noticed how Rose liked to look at his throat and chest and... well, he forgave the TARDIS for meddling. Perhaps a bit of peacock strutting would get Rose to say how she felt. The words practically itched on his own tongue; it seemed like ages since he’d learned that she what she would someday do.

  
He’d been properly chuffed when he thought Rose noticed his hair styling efforts (he really did want to look good for her), but then Rose started fussing over the cat. Since New Earth he’d developed a distaste for all things feline. Oh the cat nuns had been alright; they’d been doing what they thought best albeit misguided and sorely mistaken. However, they were an oblique reminder of Cassandra and how she’d possessed Rose and how it had felt to have Rose’s lips pressed against his… her body pressed against his… her hands in his hair… only to realize it wasn’t Rose at all and he was ashamed at how he’d responded. He sometimes wondered if she had been aware of what was going on, if she’d felt anything, trapped inside her own mind. They never talked about that bit.

  
So, now he didn’t like cats; unless Rose did, because if she had felt something back then… and liked it, well then cats would be alright by him. Falling in love was more complicated and convoluted than the subsections of the Shadow Proclamation! No wonder his race had given up on it.

  
His race had, but he couldn’t seem to. He empathized with the Isolus and its desperate need for connection and love. He’d tried to explain it to Rose (and explain himself while he was at it), how by being together they were happy and that happiness fed one another’s love. She had given him a look, like maybe she heard what he wasn’t saying, but then had not been the right time. He also sneaked in a confession that he’d once been a dad – not that it was a fact he liked to dwell on given the fate of his family – but just so she could know... that he could be that kind of man... that he could have relationships... if she wanted... because he certainly did. More and more.

  
When all was sorted, and they’d indulged in some cake and fireworks, the Doctor had his first true inkling of what had driven his future self to desperate measures. “They keep trying to split us up, but they never, ever will,” Rose had declared.

  
“Never say, ‘never ever’,” he’d admonished her, fighting a sudden urge to wrap her in his arms and hold on for dear life. The ambiguous “they” Rose had referred to were beginning to appear on the Doctor’s time horizon and he felt helpless against it.

  
“We’ll always be okay – you and me – don’t you reckon?” she asked, instinctively wanting assurance.

  
“Something’s in the air,” he told her, “Something’s coming.” _“Soon,”_ whispered the wind down the empty street. The whispering promise held nothing but doom in his imagination. “A storm’s approaching,” he murmured, looking at the fireworks but not really seeing them.

 


	5. In Love with the Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overview from Rose's POV, focusing on her relationship with the Doctor and building up to her declaration of her feelings for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to stay cannon compliant, except of course for the whole 11th Doctor changing the time line plot to the entire story. And I wanted a for reason for the Doctor's departure from his usual outfit. we're really given no clue for the absence of the button down shirt & tie and I love a bit of TARDIS meddling...

Rose didn’t know exactly when she fell in love with the Doctor. Sure she’d been seduced by the excitement at first. He’d awakened in her a strength of character and a sense of adventure that she never knew she had. He gave her purpose and a reason for trying. He was exotic and, well, _alien_. He was mysterious and magical and when he took her hand and gave her that smile she was enraptured.

  
The deepening of her affection was so gradual that it was easy to dismiss it until it was so deep and so profound that it defined her. She would give everything to keep him safe and never count the cost. That was the currency she traded with the TARDIS to effect his rescue from Satellite 5. Then suddenly he changed and Rose was rudely reminded that while she might fancy him as a man the Doctor was very much an alien. How do you love an alien properly? This new face, this new voice and body… he was a compilation of every TV star and boy band member she had crushed on in those cheap gossip magazines. Her interest in him felt like a betrayal to the Doctor she already knew. Her fickleness embarrassed her. Her attraction made her nervous. When he asked her point blank if she considered him foxy, she’d been dumbstruck. There was a lot of mental and emotional scrambling before she found her footing once again and then in someways it seemed like he had already moved on.

  
The first place he took her was New Earth and it seemed like their relationship was entering a new phase. She told him so, hugging his arm and saying how much she loved traveling with him. The traveling was nice, but that wasn’t really what she loved. He shared his new great overcoat with her and it was like a lovely picnic. She had been secretly thrilled when she reminisced about their first “date” and he didn’t contradict her choice of terminology. Everything was wonderful until they got separated in the hospital. When Cassandra possessed her body she felt everything. She had no control, but she was completely aware every moment. He never asked and she never told him. It haunted her dreams for weeks.

  
It haunted her waking moments too. This new face came with hands that liked to touch and arms that liked to hold more than ever. Sometimes she would catch a look in his chocolate eyes that would melt her insides. Then with a sniff and glance away, he’d be all business again – running off about some strange thing or another – leaving her to wonder if she was being observant or wishfully projecting. The Doctor was the designated driver and Rose desperately did not want to be kicked to the curb, so she kept her feelings to herself.

  
Other things stalked her dreams. She wasn’t surprised when accused of having “something of the wolf” about her or that she had “burnt like the sun”. The fact that she wasn’t surprised was the surprising bit. She had almost felt a connection with the great werewolf as it bore down on her in that hallway. The Doctor had grabbed her just in time, but she wondered why she dreamt of wolves. Why they made her feel powerful. She tried to talk to the Doctor about it, but once she assured him her dreams weren’t really nightmares, he just gave her a book on interpreting dreams from the TARDIS library and the subject seemed to be closed.

Rose learned a lot about herself traveling with the Doctor. She learned that she could be jealous and selfish and she wasn’t proud of it. Meeting Sarah Jane taught Rose many hard lessons. She was a flesh and blood reminder that the Doctor had had a long life before her and that he would have a long life after her. Their ease with each other frustrated her and Mickey’s snide jabs didn’t help. That the Doctor could completely compartmentalize companions and never speak of them, even brilliant ones like Sarah Jane, was too unsettling. Was that because he was just so alien or because he was just a callous git? If he didn’t reminisce about Sarah Jane, the intrepid investigative reporter, how could she think he’d someday reminisce about her, the shop girl turned lunch lady? The evidence was depressing.

  
When she cornered him about the fate of his companions, he’d said it wouldn’t be like that with her and she couldn’t help the thrill when it had sounded like maybe he just might care...a little. But Rose could see in Sarah Jane more of her future than she wanted to admit. Someday she would grow old and not be able to run with him. Then what? Would she end up sitting in the TARDIS waiting for him to return, fresh from his last adventure? She mentally squirmed as she realized that was pretty much the life she’d given her own mum to live. How selfish could she be? She was just a stupid human ape and she didn’t deserve him.

  
After the disaster that was their adventure with the beautiful Madame De Pompadour, Rose thought she’d made an important decision regarding her relationship with the Doctor. She accepted her love for him and resigned herself to his romantic indifference. She was a human. He was a Time Lord. They might look the same but they were totally different. There was no future for intimacy, but they could be best mates – they could be the best team the universe had ever seen. They could be the stuff of legend. Rose knew instinctively that they were good for each other. He’d shown her a better way to live and she was profoundly grateful. She could channel the passion of her feelings for him into devotion and loyal protectiveness. He had spoiled her for any other man, but as long as she could give him her forever she could be happy. And in the night as she drifted off to sleep, if she relived an embrace or a significant look, no one need ever be the wiser.

Going to Pete’s World was another eye opener. She had snickered when Mickey had exclaimed that he was the “tin dog” in their group, but it had hurt when the Doctor laughed at the same joke when it was on her: Rose, the pet dog. Afterwards she’d wanted to apologize to Mickey for letting him be a joke, but he decided to stay with his Gran and continue the work Ricky had begun. She never got the chance to say all she’d wanted and the regret was bitter.

  
The Doctor seemed particularly kind to her: first with giving her space to get to know her alternate universe “dad” a little and then letting her cry on his shoulder as they dematerialized and left both Pete and Mickey behind forever. He’d even taken them to some planet’s party to get some nibbles and have a few laughs. He’d said it was to get some mileage out of their waiter and waitress costumes, but she knew it was really to distract her and make her smile, and she’d loved him just a little bit more for it. Neither of them had expected to see a Cyberman suit nor a future Doctor and companion.

  
After their meeting up with Amy and the other Doctor, Rose began to re-think their relationship yet again. Apparently the Doctor would treat her like Sarah Jane and never speak of her after she was gone (How did she end up leaving? Not under her own steam she could bet on that). But the way the other Doctor had looked at her and the way he had held her seemed to indicate that she did mean something important after all, at least to the future him. She wondered what he meant when he said, “Thank you.” Was it for their hug or for something else she didn’t know about yet? She thought about how her current Doctor had become all possessive, tugging her away, holding her against his chest. That was something too, wasn’t it?

  
From then on she noticed other things as well. Small things, like an unguarded stare when he didn’t think she was looking, a few seconds longer in a hug, a lingering touch on her back or her waist; yes definitely more than just a friend but still frustratingly less than a lover. When he swept her up in the air at their reunion after Krop Tor Rose wanted nothing more than to bury her face into the curve of his neck, but he was still wearing the big orange space suit and it was just another barrier between them. She’d kissed his helmet and now she longed to kiss his face, but she couldn’t reach past the over-sized collar. Always just out of reach: that was the Doctor and it was starting to drive her mad.

  
Although the Doctor had dismissed the devilish prophesy that she was “the Lost Child, so far from home; the Valiant Child who will die in battle soon”, Rose couldn’t quite forget it. Especially after meeting the other Doctor and Amy and her being conspicuously absent from their lives. She tried to ask the Doctor about it but he deflected her questions with practiced ease. The only betrayal of his discomfort was the tugging of his ear and the rubbing at the back of his neck. Adorable tells that proved to highlight the proverbial elephant in the console room. Eventually Rose threw off the nagging worry in favour of embracing the joys of the here and now. Whatever time she had left, she would spend it with the Doctor and that would make her happy. She couldn’t imagine life without him, so that made death the only other practical alternative. At least she knew he wouldn’t get to leave her behind; it was a grim consolation.

  
Rose was embarrassed at how infrequently she thought about her own mum anymore. Her feelings for the Doctor and the thrill of their adventures eclipsed everything else on a unconscious level. When she met Elton and L.I.N.D.A., she was forcefully reminded that their adventures had consequences for other people. While they larked off to the next adrenaline rush, others were left behind to deal with the aftermath. Others like her own mum who never knew (and she was careful not to tell too much) what was happening with her daughter. She made herself a promise to call more and get the Doctor to tighten up the time lines from her mom’s point of view so that it wasn’t so long in between visits. Next time they were at an intergalactic bazaar she was going to find her a nice gift too. How many birthday’s and mother’s days had she missed, anyway? She was afraid to ask.

  
Rose got it. Chloe Webber missed her dad. Rose missed her dad too. Or, at least she missed the idea of having a dad. She knew what it meant to feel lonely. But stealing children, stealing people, stealing the Doctor that was just wrong. It didn’t matter how lonely you felt you couldn’t take away someone that would make others lonely. The Doctor had gone on and on about how the Isolus was such an intense emphatic creature. That it needed love to survive. “Yeah? So what? Don’t we all?” she’d wanted to shout back at him. “I am surrounded by love this and love that, but I don’t seem to be getting any!” But she hadn’t said any of that. She couldn’t. They never talked about those things and she was afraid to ruin their friendship with romantic complications that the Doctor was just incapable of.

  
She tried to just be his best mate and stuff her feelings deep inside her heart, and then he had to go and loose his shirt. He blamed it on the TARDIS – and on the one hand she’d been ever so pleased, but he was already so gorgeous in her eyes she didn’t need to be seeing that extra peek of skin all the time. Not and keep her hands off. She used the cat to tease him and he’d fallen for it. She’d used her anger at the Isolus to put distance between them even as he kept insisting on getting into her personal space. It was all working until he’d thrown her for a loop saying he’d been a dad once. What? There was a universe of untold stories behind that casual remark. Yet just like always, the Doctor had ignored the bombshell and just gone off and got captured.

  
Rose learned some things about herself that day. She learned that she could be jealous of other people’s open affection. She learned that she didn’t have as great a control on her secret as she thought she did – it was leaking out in irritability and frustration. She shocked herself when she confessed, “I need him.” Thankfully those in the room were relative strangers and didn’t know their complicated relationship. But lately she’d seem to be bombarded with images of love and it was getting harder and harder to ignore her own brand of loneliness. Even the Doctor had seemed to send her some coded message when he’d been explaining about the Isolus, how they were lost without love. Naturally there had been no time to unpack those sentences, but the way he’d held her and hugged her when he came back... that meant something, didn’t it?

  
She learned that she was jealous of the Doctor’s past. If he’d been a dad, then it followed that there had been a mom and kids. She knew they were all gone now, the Doctor had told her that long ago, but she was jealous of those relationships, dead even as they were. She was jealous and she wasn’t proud of it. He was greater and grander and ever so much older than her. He’d lived so many lives even before they met. Of course he had loved. How stupid and vain could she be assuming he’d never been emotionally touched before. Even she’d had Jimmy and Mickey, such as they were. But, the fact that he’d been a dad once also offered Rose hope. So he wasn’t totally against relationships, even if they were alien-like. She could treasure that hope and she could be his hand to hold.

  
Of course she knew exactly what he was doing when he hung the transport device on her. It was the Game Station all over again and just like then she came right back to him. What part of _“I’m never going to leave you,”_ did he not understand? This was all about saving her. He wasn’t 100% certain his plan would work or that he would escape being sucked into the Void. Well, just like at Downing Street, she was committed: she would either escape with him or be destroyed with him. For Rose it was very simple.

  
“What are you doing? You’ll never see them again! Your own mother!” he ranted into her face, anguish and joy warring for supremacy in his frantic eyes. Hadn’t she made it plain on Krop Tor when she said, _“Everyone leaves home sometime”_? She knew she was going to miss her mum terribly, but it was insignificant compared to being separated from the Doctor. They were a team; when would he learn that? She wondered if kissing him would teach him anything but the moment was lost in a sudden flurry of preparation.


	6. Canary Wharf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes. We have to go there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry...  
> But we still have two chapters to go.

_“Sod it,”_ thought the Doctor in despair. Keeping Rose safe was more important than keeping the time line intact. Somehow, he would probably never know when or where, he had made a wrong move and deviated from the path his future self had described. Now Rose would never have the chance to say she loved him. Next to him she had collected the most Void particles; staying was inexcusably dangerous. He also remembered how he had promised never to send her away again. Well, time for Rose to learn another lesson about the Doctor: the Doctor lies. With a bitter taste in his mouth and breaking hearts he tuned out her beautiful speech to Jackie and placed the transport devise around her neck as she stepped backwards towards him.

  
He nodded to Pete and his future winked out of existence.

  
Mechanically he set about completing the computer commands to reopen the rift and suck all the daleks and cybermen into the void. The magna clamps sat discarded on the floor. Perhaps it would be best if he just went with his old enemies. The hell of the Void seemed preferable to living with the howling vortex of rage and pain that was rising up inside him. The cruelty of the universe was not lost on him – he had created his own destruction; Killer of His Own Kind…perhaps this was simply justice.

  
And then she was back! Rose, in all her defiant pink and yellow glory had returned to him.

  
He stopped just short of embracing her. _Why did the girl never do as she was told?_ He was properly furious. _Why did she always know exactly what he needed?_ He was completely ecstatic. “What are you doing?” he shouted when what he really wanted to do was kiss her. “You’ll never see them again! Your own mother!”

  
“Doctor, I made my choice a long time ago: I’m never going leave you,” her whiskey coloured eyes glowed with love. Would this be the moment she confessed to him? If so, the Doctor knew he would respond in kind. The hope that was blossoming in his heart after such black despair was undeniable. When the words didn’t come the Doctor had to squelch a flash of disappointment. Still, now there was hope.

  
The magna clamps. Why had he brought along two in the first place? He had hoped all along that she would be with him! “Better with two,” her voice echoed in his memory. He spun away to hide his grin and began to bark out orders. Rose had made her choice, but it wouldn’t do for her to see how pleased he was she had defied him. That would set a very dangerous precedent! There would be time later to let her know how deeply happy he was she had chosen him. Chosen him! Oh how he loved this glorious woman.

  
In tandem they pushed the activation levers and affixed the magna clamps. They grinned at each other from across the room as the Doctor’s brilliant plan sprang into effect. Void open: check. Multitude of enemies sucked out of the universe: check.

  
But the daleks were not finished wreaking havoc on his universe. Tumbling base over dome toward the Void, a stray dalek clipped the activation lever closest to Rose. She had failed to lock it into place as they began and the impact was sufficient to knock it off line. Before the Doctor could shout to Rose to stop and let the deactivation sequence complete itself she was reaching for the lever. So what if it would take too much time for the machine to reset itself for a second attempt? So what if the remaining daleks and cybermen would then have time to mount a counter attack and probably destroy the facility? At least Rose would be safe. They would have time to make it back to the TARDIS and be gone. There would be time to fight the monsters another day.

  
But of course Rose thought none of those things. She would never ask the Doctor to sacrifice others to save her. She was brilliant and brave and oh so much better than he was.

  
In horrified certainty he knew she was too short to reach the lever and keep her hold on the anchoring clamp. She stretched herself out, let go of safety and grabbed the lever. He couldn’t help but admire her determination even as he was sickened with fear. She pushed the lever hard and they heard a satisfying click as it locked into place. But now with both levers locked open, the suction of the Void increased exponentially. The volume of daleks and cybermen passing through became a blur, but the Doctor had eyes only for Rose.

  
“Hold on!” he screamed. She held on with just her hands. If only she’d had time to lock her arms around the base of the mechanism. It wasn’t a magna clamp, but she could have used all the muscles in her shoulders and arms to be secure. The velocity lifted Rose right off her feet and the currents and eddies in the air caused by the passing monsters served to twist and turn her, weakening her grip. The seconds were counting off in his head, nearly there. “Rose, hold on!”

  
But she couldn’t. She didn’t have his superior Time Lord tensile strength even though he willed it to her as he ineffectually reached out one straining arm. Her hand hold became a finger hold which slipped millimeter by millimeter. It was a razor slicing open his hearts. They were both screaming now. Being in separate universes would be better than this. Not the Void. Not for his Rose. Somebody save her!

  
And they did. At the last possible moment Pete appeared and caught her in his arms. They couldn’t stay because the Void was still open and they would have both tumbled into it. But just before they vanished, Rose looked back. The question in her eyes told him she was still thinking of him, it was the only question that ever seemed to matter to her: was he safe.

  
He was safe. He was still secure to the magna clamp. Had she not looked back for a crazy moment he might have let go. Had she fallen into the Void, he surely would have. But because she had looked, because she telegraphed her most important need in that brief gaze, he held on. He did it for her, because she wanted him to.

  
In the aftermath, the Doctor was numb. So profound was the shock that he could not feel the crushing pain which he knew awaited him. Rose was gone and he had never said the words. She had never confessed and so he had waited, foolishly waited, and now she was gone. He pressed a hand and his temple against the smooth white barrier and for a moment he could feel her – echoes of her presence, of her essence, of her light – and then that too faded. Had it not, the Doctor doubted he would have been able to walk away. He would have stayed pressed against that wall until he regenerated, and perhaps even after that.

  
Yet every step that took him away from the wall took him closer to his next hope. Perhaps there was still a chance. His future self had been so certain Rose would speak to him, so vehement that he would and must tell her how he felt. They must still have time together! Or had he tripped over his own time lines and altered things so much that the opportunity was forever lost? He forced himself not to consider that option; in that way lurked madness. Surely all the fissures into the Void had not closed at once… yes he could still sense some, although they were closing and fading away just as Rose had. There had to be time. There had to be a way.  
As he entered the TARDIS, the Doctor mentally shrugged away the waves of sympathy and comfort rolling off his beloved ship. “We’re not done yet, old girl. Yes, I know what I said back there about sealing off the universes forever, but it hasn’t happened yet. Not completely. What we need is a plan, a plan to get Rose back where she belongs.”

  
In the end, all his plans were ash. He combed the vast library; he scoured the TARDIS data base, running scenario after scenario, variation after variation. He did not eat. He did not sleep (until the TARDIS knocked him out for a few hours of enforced rest when he had a proper emotional meltdown and began to dismantle her console with his bare hands). He could not find a way to bring Rose safely back and it burned.

  
The white hot fire of defeat burned away any romantic hopes and dreams he’d been secretly nursing since the encounter with his future self. What remained was the iron clad promise he had made to Rose: he would not simply leave her behind. She would get a proper goodbye. She deserved it and so much more. Rose had once told him that the lycanthrope host had said she “burned like the sun”. So be it; it was a small price to pay to speak with her one last time.


	7. Bad Wolf Bay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The climatic moment! Cannon compliant, at least until the twist.

“I’m still just an image. No touch.”  He ached to touch her, to hold her close and shelter her from the wind blowing in off the North Sea.

“Can you come through properly?”

“Whole thing would fracture; two universes would collapse.”  _Believe me, I’ve tried._

He couldn’t help a sad smile when she said, “So?”  For once, Rose was being properly selfish.  The fact that she wanted him was heartbreakingly beautiful.  If he could have found a way through to her, even at the expense of his own universe but safe for her, he’d have done it.  The longing was mutual.

In a vain effort to make her comfortable, the Doctor tried to make small talk.  “Where are we?  Where did the gap come out?”

Their laughter was bittersweet.  Their last point of connection was called Bad Wolf Bay!  Rose as Bad Wolf had seen all of time and space and ensured they would at least have this…such a bittersweet gift.  Neither of them wanted to breakdown in front of the other, but it was oh so hard not to scream out his frustration.

“How long have you got?”

“About two minutes.”

He could see the panic brewing in her teary eyes.  “I can’t think of what to say!”

In an effort to keep her from losing control, the Doctor cast about for more conversation.  He couldn’t touch her so he had to hold her together with words.  Words…he was good with words…  He saw Jackie, Pete and Mickey watching them from a distance; time to remind Rose that she still had Mickey and her family with her.  At the mention of a baby, his hearts squeezed painfully. For a nanosecond he could imagine Rose as a mother – she would be stunningly beautiful pregnant – but knowing he could never be the father nearly crippled him then and there. 

Her denial told him so much too.  There was no one else in her life and while he was pleased he also berated himself for being utterly selfish.  Rose was so young and vital.  She needed to go on and have a life and he tried to tell her that.  He tried to be generous and noble and sacrificing.  His crumbling hearts swelled with pride as she told him she was going to work in Torchwood.  With a look Rose silently told him how much he had changed her, how much she had grown during their travels. “Rose Tyler – Defender of the Earth,” he proclaimed proudly. 

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “You’re dead, officially, back home.”  He tried to explain and tried to remind her (and himself) that things had turned out better than that.  What she had there was good.  He wanted it to be, for her sake.  He needed it to be, for his sake. 

“Am I ever going to see you again?” She was trying so hard to be brave; his hearts continued to swell with pride and nearly choked off his windpipe.

“You can’t,” he croaked.  _But I’ll keep you forever in my hearts and memories.  I’m keeping your room on the TARDIS just the way you left it.  I will love you, Rose Marion Tyler, until we are nothing but star dust._

“What are you going to do?”

“Oh I’ve got the TARDIS, same old life… last of the Time Lords.”  This was the same conversation they’d had their first Christmas together, just after he’d regenerated, when she’d wondered if she still fit into his life and could travel with him.  A dark and twisted part of him wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the parallel. Another part of him wanted to rip the cruel universe apart with his rage.  Every part of him wanted to reach through to her.

“On your own?”  _No one will ever replace you, Rose.  There will be no one else entering these old hearts, I couldn’t stand it.  Ah._

“I…” she sobbed and fought to get control of her voice.  “I love you,” she confessed as if the mere words would magically change the situation.

“Quite right too,” he agreed. He fought to control his own voice and shaking limbs.  Gods, this was it.  “And I suppose if it’s is my last chance to say it…”  What was he doing?!?  Here he was winding up for some big speech even as his own warning words rang like a cloister bell in his memory:  _When she says, ‘I love you’, don’t hesitate, don’t give a grand speech, just say you love her.  You won’t have as much time as you think, so don’t muck about._   And this was him, mucking about!

“I love you, Ro...” and the dying star burned out.  Her name was still on his lips even as the interior of the TARDIS came back into focus.  Two tears tracked their way down his pale face and he closed his mouth around her name as if he could keep that tiny bit of her close to himself.  This time he didn’t shrug off the waves of sympathy and comfort the TARDIS offered.  He leaned heavily against the consol and gazed up at the pulsing green light. 

He’d wanted to say so much more to her.  He’d wanted to say, _I love you, Rose Tyler. I’ll love you forever.  You have healed me and given me the best the universe has to offer._   But he’d run out of time for grandiose speeches and romantic words.  He shuddered when he thought how he had almost lost the chance to tell her.  If he’d left her trapped without saying the words…  She had to have known how he felt – they’d both known what they’d had for a long time now… hadn’t they?  She’d known all along, hadn’t she?  Oh but words have power.  Wasn’t that why he’d been so afraid to speak them aloud?  He’d been such a coward until it was almost too late. 

So what if it had been a fixed point in time for Rose, it was just a small change; she was still over there and he was still over here.  Then he remembered how his future self had looked, how he had sounded as he plead with himself.  No, it wasn’t a small change at all.  It was tremendously significant. 

“I love her,” he whispered, and then repeated himself louder, letting his declaration fill the cavernous console room. “I love her. Ha! No regrets!  Thank you, Rose Marion Tyler.”  It had been a long time coming but his confession set something free inside him.  In his imagination, he shook his future self’s hand in gratitude, “ _Thank you.”_   He understood at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter to go... and I'm posting it today too. I can't leave them dangling any longer (and I'm anxious to get on with the 'rest of the story')


	8. Epilogue: A New Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose is changed by the Doctor's confession.

He was gone.  Rose gave in to the sobs that were beating at her chest for release.  She stood there on the cold wet sand unable to move away from their last spot together.  It was only when she felt her mum reach for her that she turned into her mum’s arms and clung to her, letting the sorrow wash over her like a wave crashing on the shore.

“There, there sweetheart,” Jackie crooned rocking her gently.  “What did himself have to say?   We could see him, but we couldn’t hear anything.  When’s he coming to get you, love?”

“He’s not,” Rose cried.  “He can’t come through.  Two universes would fracture.  All he had was a couple of minutes to say goodbye.”

“Oh, Rose!  I’m so sorry, sweetheart.  Still, he did the right thing, yeah?  He said his goodbyes all proper like and left you safe here with your family.  He promised me he’d bring you home safe and he did, didn’t he.”  Jackie was trying to put a good spin on the situation, desperately hoping Rose wouldn’t slip back into the depression that had claimed her before.  She’d waited in that empty white room for 5 ½ hours, just crying and patting the stupid wall.  Then she’d let Mickey carry her out and they’d taken her to Pete’s house and put her to bed.  She didn’t eat or sleep for days then she nibbled a bit on tea and toast and slept for nearly a week.  She didn’t say a word for almost another fortnight.  It had driven Jackie mad with worry.  She’d wanted to call in doctors and medication, but Pete had cautioned her to wait it out. He’d been right.  Rose had just finally started coming back to herself when all this Norway business had happened.  Still she couldn’t fault the Doctor for giving Rose a proper goodbye.

“I love him, mum.”  Rose was standing on her own shaking legs now, wiping away the smeared mascara with an unsteady hand.

“I know you do.  But Rose, it’s over.  He told you himself.”  Jackie was gently trying to steer her daughter off the beach and back to Mickey, Pete and the waiting truck.  Norway was much too cold for her liking.

“He said he loved me.”

“Oh he did, did he?  Well that certainly was a long time coming and then finally says it when he knows he won’t have to do anything about it!  The wanker!”

“No, mum, it’s not like that.  The Doctor, he wanted me to know.  He wanted to give me that.”

“Empty words, if you ask me.”

“I’m not.”

“Fine.  Suit yourself then, you always do anyway.  Just promise me this: you won’t go off all depressed again.  You were just coming back to yourself, just getting started with a new life, when all this,” she gestured to the empty beach, “happened.”

They joined the men at the jeep.  Mickey put a questioning hand on Rose’s shoulder.  They’d seen the Doctor appear and disappear and how Rose had collapsed into her mother’s arms.  Rose glanced at her best friend, chewed her lip and shook her head before climbing into the jeep.  Jackie gave Pete and Mickey a shrug and a sad grimace before going around and climbing into the front passenger seat.  Silently the men got in and Pete drove off.

“He loves me,” she whispered to the window as they drove away.  As Bad Wolf Bay shrunk in the rearview mirror Rose found that surprisingly her spirit did not shrink with it.  She repeated his last words over and over in her mind and with each repetition, a glow within grew.  It started in the pit of her stomach, in the place that had been cold and clenched ever since she had reached for that stupid lever.  From there the glow reached upwards wrapping around her heart with the warmth and assurance she had never quite dared believe in all her years of traveling with the Doctor.  Unconsciously Rose straightened her spine and relaxed her shoulders.  She could feel this wonderful glow rise up the nape of her neck and under her scalp.  As it flooded her mind a slight curve came to her shapely lips.  She loved the Doctor.  The Doctor loved her.  They had a love between them that nothing would ever take away – not even the mighty will of two universes. 

Long ago, with another face, the Doctor had asked her to do one thing, just one thing: to have a fantastic life.  With brand new confidence, Rose now knew she could do that.  She would be everything he believed she already was.  The damage to her self esteem that Jimmy and even Mickey had done with their half-hearted affections was healed at last. The fatherless little chav from the Estates was gone. Defender of the Earth Rose Tyler loved the Doctor and (more importantly) she knew he loved her back.

With a soft sigh, she turned to look at her fellow occupants, her family.  The tension inside the jeep was thick with unspoken questions and concerns.  “It’s going to be okay,” she said firmly.  “I’m going to be okay.  I’m not sorry, not about any of it.  No regrets.”  She leaned her head back against the head rest and closed her eyes.  From the warm recesses of her heart she reached out across their love link knowing he could not hear her, but vowing to whatever powers that could: _“We’re not done, Doctor.  I don’t know how but you and me, we’re not done._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. Sorry this last chapter is short but I just don't have any more to say. While I don't think that anyone is completely defined by their relationships, I do think that Rose suffered from the lack of positive, supportive masculine love. Her dad was dead, Jimmy was abusive, and Mickey wasn't serious. I believe having the love the of the Doctor helped Rose to reach her potential and will continue to help her going forward.
> 
> In cannon 'verse, we know he said, "Rose Tyler..." and we've heard that the rest of it was to be "I love you." Five little words, two little phrases, huge impact just by simply switching around the order. Look for a sequel - this was a game changer.


End file.
